cool days of warm suns. sad walks. repeated hopes.

i sometimes forget how much i like words.

but when i start a book that knows how to use them,

i often can’t get more than a page without writing one down.

or just writing in general.

traitor.

resonate.

resounding.

meaninglessness.

madness.

ingrid.

days like this remind me of those lost moments you don’t know what to do with.

they creep up on you.

sly. in their sneak.

and before you know it, you forget yourself. forget the world.

and remember the inevitable timelessness that also can’t help its sneaking.

suddenly, you remember you love words.

the way sorrowful songs sound more real than non.

the dance of syllables that dribble on every piece of paper.

onceuponatime.

it’s cool days of warm suns.

sad walks.

repeated hopes.

with a cliched understanding of forgetting what you thought you knew.

lack of nostalgia.

and a sense of wander.

purposely placed.

to what end.

i’m not quite sure.

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our lovechoices.

there’s a song i really like right now.

same love. by macklemore and ryan lewis.

as i was singing along to it this evening, i realized there was a line that i didn’t quite agree with.

“i can’t change. even if i wanted to.”

yes. true.

but after hearing this on repeat i realized had i written the song. been able to choose what message i was sending to everyone.

i would say that even if i could change, i wouldn’t want to.

the new leading hate is on the lgbtq community.

my community.

and as i hear the argument in favor of equal rights that underlines the inability to be anything but gay. lesbian. bi. pan. fluid. trans. unlabeled. intersex. queer.

i can’t help but feel inadvertently disparaged.

we are who we are. and when it comes to matters of who we want to place ourselves next to. of who we want to love.

there is no wrong.

we shouldn’t have to say

“i can’t help it”.

and there should never be an ill-appreciation of our inherent right to choose to be who we are.

i asked someone the other day who has taken on a new religious lifestyle

if, with this change, they would still support equal rights for the lgbtq community.

they replied they weren’t there to judge someone else’s sins.

while that may be true. under no acceptable instance is it okay to compare my lovechoices to your sins.

we in this community are often told these “choices” are phases. a deviation of the correct lifestyle. an experiment. a cry for attention.

i’ve heard it.

and once even.

my distant grandparents asked if i was “a dyke” for writing a paper about lgbtq perception in the media.

(if only they could see me now.)

and while i combat this ignorant hatred with sarcasm and apathy.

these perspectives echo the massive issue our society is being faced with.

all individuals struggle to define ourselves. we search. we learn. and we come to an understanding of the person we are.

my individuality, while perhaps not completely mine in choice, is mine to define. is mine to accept. and is mine to defend.

with this significant momentum that’s building all over the states, i revel.

as we come to understand the turning of generations.

the building of acceptance.

the creation of appreciation.

we finally begin to see a light at the end of this very shallow tunnel.

and.

as we approach this place.

the only words my banner will read are

“even if i could change. i wouldn’t want to”.

i accept who i am. i want to be nothing other than who i am.

and it’s not until we accept this reasoning behind our lovechoices.

that we’ll actually be equal.