but through the catastrophe as i might be can you see that the way you move unnerves me.

Dear Muse,

let me use you

suddenly and promiscuously

as a means to my own heart.

let my eyes linger

so i can abuse

the too sweet nature

your pheromones ache to choose.

let me kiss thee

in dreams most heavenly.

please

muse.

candy of my eye.

 diffuse my struggle

while i

pretend you’re not.

everything i shouldn’t even

think about

while i see your eyes colliding

with my eternally terrible unexacting anticipated and unexpected belittlement–

–my tendency to break

anything.

(this is why you can’t have nice things)

i was told.

but through the catastrophe as i might be

can you see that

the way you move

unnerves me.

and that empty look

of all the

broken pieces of your being

shattering with every step you sought.

please.

muse–

i want to fill it

even if i shouldn’t.

i want to carve out every organ

and replace them with promises.

dig a place in myself

for your every nerve your every breath your every spine.

diffuse me,

muse–

if that’s all you can

actually be.

 your everything

is too perfect;

beautiful;

and breakable

to allow me and my heartaching tendencies

anywhere near it.

so: please.

diffuse my wants.

muse

use me.

confuse me.

i’ll be anything you need.

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