humanity

you ask where my humanity

went.

i drank it

it tasted like iron and forgotten desperation.

it smelled like admiration.

and even without its

soft voice and forgiving nature

 i can still hear the music

pulsing

over the chemicals

giving me the ability to fly

to soar

to kill

you ask where my humanity went

just give me the gun

it said

and baby i’ll take care of all your worries

blinking

once.

or twice.

but truly

that’s equally unlikely.

also– ha.

i’m lying.

my humanity would never utter those words

it told me to go back to bed

to put down the coffee.

to calm myself

and unplug the rhythmic beats.

you ask where my humanity went.

i buried it.

i set it on fire

and threw it farther than even i could imagine.

i didn’t like the way

it fit

it said i should take a breath

but really.

who has time for that.

you ask me where it went

(my humanity that is).

i sold it

so i could walk in front of cars

just to hear their brakes

squeal.

you’re shivering.

you say.

well

that’s what happens when your humanity

tells you

that

everyone bleeds.

but i don’t.

i can’t.

i lost that ability

i forgot it on a corner

so it could try to sell itself

for diamonds

and dollars

and after it was through

i suffocated your worries

danced them into a grave

along with my humanity.

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