yesterday. my words couldn’t get enough indignation.
my animosity at the many injustices existence has somehow collected
fueled a rather impenetrable distate for the world.
and all of these words spilled out one by one.
mostly so my own ears could hear them.
i didn’t understand how we could go on spinning, while the majority of things favored implosion.
while people resorted to bad manners and inconsideration without a second thought.
while being self-centered is the only reasonable revolution that exists.
see. this is where my mind was.
and just as quickly.
my distate faded into life’s usual mediocrity.
i worked a bit.
and watched the dogs play.
i even ate a fish sandwich with my sister.
and i was mildy confused by the stark juxtaposition when i woke up.
the hostility faded. the commonplace resumed.
and i’m left unsure of how i feel.
am i angry at the world’s exploitation?
sickened by so many people’s sense of complaisance, self-righteousness, and apathy?
but it doesn’t sit at the forefront on my mind as it did yesterday.
i don’t hate these habits as much as i did 18 hours ago.
and the point of interest. for me. is the fact that they weren’t relieved in my mind.
my thoughts of them didn’t change.
i don’t care less.
my feelings are simply less pointed.
and more accepting.
for no other reason than the day changed.
the moment faded.
and i began to think about something else.
there’s snow on the ground. and it’s april eleventh.
my birthday is tomorrow.
and i’m enjoying my coffee.
this is. for whatever reason. where my mind found itself for these hours.
the lack of consciousness behind this decision
suggests that such choice wasn’t fully mine.
which. is in itself. a completely separate topic.